In what is surely the apex of both Baldur’s Gate 3 modding and my news writing career, a creator named Estgamers has developed the foulest fanmade BG3 spell yet: the foul hex of Testicular Torsion (warning: that link may not be work-safe depending on how cool your work is with both the concept of testicular torsion and medical diagrams of it in action).
Created by a modder named Estgamers, the Testicular Torsion Spell Mod is, well, a testicular torsion spell mod. It adds a new level 1 transmutation spell to the game that gets your enemies all twisted up in a way that’s both comical and intensely painful, dealing 1d4 of force damage. So long as they have testicles, anyway.
If you’re (mercifully) unaware of just what testicular torsion is, it’s basically the medical name for literally getting your nuts in a twist. Or one of them, anyway. It occurs when “the cord (called the ‘spermatic cord’) which carries blood to the testicle becomes twisted,” says Cambridge University Hospitals, and I’m given to understand that it really sucks, causing intense pain that can require surgery to fix.
It’s also the superpower of the Testicular Torsion Wizard, a memetic mage who goes around scrunching up the underparts of his… foes? Probably his foes. The meme actually got its start in D&D, say the good folk at Know Your Meme, so it’s really only appropriate the spell should make an appearance in BG3.
If you’ve not got a caster in your party, fear not. The mod also adds a ring with the Testicular Torsion spell enchantment to BG3’s Act 1 and 2 vendor inventories, so you can just get it that way. It also sounds actually kind of devastating. Sure, it starts out with a puny 1-4 force damage, but by the time you’re casting it with level 6 spell slots, it’s doing 144 damage across multiple targets. Woe unto to the fool who challenges the magi of testicular torsion!
